When the symphony of life hits a dissonant chord, how does a musician find harmony again? This is just one of the soul-stirring questions Russell Rybicki answers as he joins us for a rich tapestry of tales on personal transformation, mental health, and the art of self-discovery in the demanding world of classical music. From playing horn and arranging to finding silence in meditation, Russell unveils the intricate journey of an artist seeking balance amid professional peaks, personal trials, and the quest for inner peace.
SPECIAL EVENT: On April 21st, Sound Mind will be hosting its very first in-person panel event at the New World Center in Miami Beach, FL titled “between the notes: exploring identities as artists”. Join us to explore the multifaceted career path as musicians and the diverse identities that shape the art and artists within it. Register now at this link.
Russell Rybicki is currently acting third/assistant horn in the San Antonio Philharmonic and is the hornist and arranger for the Monarch Chamber Players. He’s previously held positions with the San Antonio Symphony, the Vancouver Symphony, and the New World Symphony. Russell is also a certified Holistic Life Coach passionate about deep personal work involved in self-acceptance and self-compassion through a holistic process.
When the symphony of life hits a dissonant chord, how does a musician find harmony again? This is just one of the soul-stirring questions Russell Rybicki answers as he joins us for a rich tapestry of tales on personal transformation, mental health, and the art of self-discovery in the demanding world of classical music. From playing horn and arranging to finding silence in meditation, Russell unveils the intricate journey of an artist seeking balance amid professional peaks, personal trials, and the quest for inner peace.
SPECIAL EVENT: On April 21st, Sound Mind will be hosting its very first in-person panel event at the New World Center in Miami Beach, FL titled “between the notes: exploring identities as artists”. Join us to explore the multifaceted career path as musicians and the diverse identities that shape the art and artists within it. Register now at this link.
Russell Rybicki is currently acting third/assistant horn in the San Antonio Philharmonic and is the hornist and arranger for the Monarch Chamber Players. He’s previously held positions with the San Antonio Symphony, the Vancouver Symphony, and the New World Symphony. Russell is also a certified Holistic Life Coach passionate about deep personal work involved in self-acceptance and self-compassion through a holistic process.
Welcome back to the Sound Mind podcast, everyone. A quick announcement for our listeners On April 21st, sound Mind will be hosting its very first in-person panel event at the New World Center in Miami Beach, titled Between the Notes: Exploring Identities as Artists. Join us to explore the multifaceted career path as musicians and the diverse identities that shape the art and artists within it. Link in the show notes for more info and now for our show. Welcome back to the Sound Mind Podcast, everyone. I'm your host, alex Hoffman, and this week we are joined by Russell Rybicki. Russell is currently acting third assistant horn in the San Antonio Philharmonic and is the hornist and arranger for the Monarch Chamber Players. He's previously held positions with the San Antonio Symphony, the Vancouver Symphony and the New World Symphony. Russell is also a certified holistic life coach, passionate about deep personal work, involved in self-acceptance and self-compassion through a holistic process. Welcome to the pod, russell.
Alex Hoffman:We start our podcast same way every single time, with the question how's your head and how's your heart?
Russell Rybicki:Um, you know that's been a journey, but what I've come to learn is that, uh, finding presence wherever I am, you know my head and heart kind of just sit right where they need to be. Um, it can be really busy, can be really calm, but uh, ideally I'm able to be where I am, but ideally I'm able to be where I am, wherever that is, and just kind of allow it to be there and then allow it to go. Yeah.
Alex Hoffman:I like that. That can be a really difficult thing sometimes, especially with social media and news all the time buzzing around us, to practice being present in the world, so I admire that a lot.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah, just like letting things come and then wash over you and then eventually you'll dry off, you know.
Alex Hoffman:So, Russell, tell us a little bit about your musical journey and tell us why the topic of wellness and mental health resonates with you personally as it relates to classical musicians.
Russell Rybicki:play the French horn, I went to Eastman and Northwestern, and then I did a year at new world and then I won my first job in the Vancouver symphony and then, yeah, San Antonio symphony, and then all of that stuff with the strike went down and COVID happened, kind of all all at once. Uh moved home to Austin and then, after a couple of years there, I moved to Houston and was doing the whole Monarch chamber players And we founded that in 2020. So now I kind of live in houston, freelance, do all that kind of stuff, um, but uh, how mental health and wellness came into it, I kind of kind of fell into it.
Russell Rybicki:Um, so when I was at new world, it was the one new year's resolution that stuck and that was to meditate every day. So I started with with the. I was just like, how do I do this? So I just got the Headspace app, did a lot of that for a long time, and back then it was more of a tool for I. You know, it was really focused on winning, winning a job. So it was more about focusing on auditions and being able to center myself. I did a lot of Don Green centering stuff too, just to really cope with performance anxiety, and I didn't really realize the other powerful tools that I was learning through that process of just focusing. And so when I got to my first job you know, achieve my dreams was crazy I actually won that job the day before my 26th birthday.
Alex Hoffman:Wow.
Russell Rybicki:So it was like a nice birthday gift, it was super exciting. And then I get there and it's the exact opposite of what I had expected. I ended up suffering a playing injury pretty quickly. Um, I ended up suffering a playing injury pretty quickly. Um, very debilitating, to the point where, like, I couldn't really play much at all with comfort. Um, I was forcing things out, and so I did that throughout the two years that I was there and it got a lot worse.
Russell Rybicki:Um, it was very, yeah, mentally, emotionally, physically draining, spiritually draining. Um, I, it was just a big loss of my identity as a musician, as a person, just cause I couldn't do what I had done and trained for so hard. Um, completely taken away from me. Um, you know, I used to be, I felt I was one of those people that I could just like do what I wanted to do on the instrument. Like, obviously I had things that I needed to work on, but like I could get my, I could like really show up and like present myself as an artist, and then I was going back to I couldn't play a long tone, um, so it was really that's hard.
Russell Rybicki:A huge yeah, it was a huge identity crisis, um, so I was still meditating every day. You know that new year's resolution stuck, um, but at that point it became like a way to cope with what was going on. Um, luckily, I had some very supportive friends there with me that I could talk about things with. But, um, in our world and a lot of organizations there isn't really a like a counselor or like you know, in sports they have all these physical therapists or trainers by pretty much, but we don't have that. So I was reaching out to outside counseling, but it was just kind of hard to explain classical music because it's so it's such a subjective field where it's like what's good and bad is up to who's listening. Yeah, I kept, kept meditating. It was just being in that situation was not good for me.
Russell Rybicki:I had some other like really heavy personal things that happened and it kind of it was I call it the perfect storm of things that happened in that two years. Um, I was just kind of thrown into a depression where I couldn't I would only get up out of bed to go to work or if like, or my apartment only if, like, a friend was reaching out to, like you know, walk on the beach or something, um, yeah, so it was really hard to to deal with all of the just exhaustion, essentially. So after those two years I left and I went back home and so I was through that summer. That was like what? June 2019 or so. So I went back home.
Russell Rybicki:That summer was super depressed, was living at home with my mom. Love my mom. Still don't want to live at home, yeah, I just I didn't know what to do. I still couldn't really play. I could, like you know, I could do things, but it just didn't feel or sound natural. And so I I really was just trying to trying to work every day, spending almost like an hour or two just on like fundamentals, and I knew that was like way too much and I was just getting so in my head.
Russell Rybicki:So I made it through that summer with a lot of very dark thoughts and I had the good graces of San Antonio Symphony. They were playing Mahler too, so they called me and then after that week they were like, oh, we have a one year opening, do you want it? So I, you know, like won a mini audition kind of thing behind closed doors for that and then was still just like I don't want to say like traumatized, but I was kind of traumatized by what happened in Canada showing up to work. You know I was having panic attacks going to work sometimes in Vancouver, like having to take beta blockers just for like a kid's show, okay, just like I had to do something to just like bring me down sometimes, yeah. And so when I was in San Antonio I had I was having like the same sort of reaction where these, these four players were like so supportive, they were so friendly, they were so nice, they were always complimenting and like helping me out.
Alex Hoffman:That's amazing.
Russell Rybicki:But like I was showing up expecting the opposite or being like what's going on over there, Like why does it sound like that? So it was a huge, huge mental hurdle for me to get over and then, you know, fast forward a few months, going through that, COVID happened. Um, and I got. You know I'm a very, very optimistic person. I consider that probably, like my number one blessing was optimistic. So COVID happened and I took that as I'm just very, very optimistic person.
Alex Hoffman:I consider that probably like my number one blessing Okay.
Russell Rybicki:Always optimistic. So COVID happened and I took that. As I'm just here alone in my apartment in San Antonio, I can like really go back to square one, like everything I can like really take the time to reteach myself everything. And still, through all of this I was doing like my you know daily meditations and spiritual practices and at that point I don't think I realized how it was actually like helping me get over those mental hurdles of when I was at work and like being really scared, like I was at least in some sort of way to observe those feelings coming up and knowing that it wasn't like me. Observe those feelings coming up and knowing that it wasn't like me I don't know if that makes sense, but like I was able to observe the fact that I was stressed about this but also able to tell myself like that's, that's not you, that's just a voice in your head over in this corner.
Alex Hoffman:Yeah, separating those.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah, so that's for me. I think that was kind of the moment where meditation showed me that it's like a much broader tool than just like focusing to win a job. So I still kept doing that was going back to square one. I was able to move back home this time. I was living with my dad. My stepdad was having health problems, so I was living with my dad and he lives in like in the middle of the woods. It was great for that. Like I got lucky with that. So I really dove into the meditation there.
Russell Rybicki:Um, because I had so much time I was in the middle of the woods I would I could just like go on long walks on his property and not see a human. It was great. But I I like got into a lot of different techniques. Um, oh, you went to school with daniel broughtman too. I talked to him about different things that he does, because he does, I think, some meditation teaching now. But I asked him and the one that really stuck with me was called Metta M-E-T-T-A and it's a loving, kindness meditation and this was like a huge visualization technique that really kind of like like helped me get over a lot of these mental hurdles because, yeah with. With this injury, after a certain amount of time it was more like the mental was affecting the physiological. Yep, like I wasn't hurt anymore. I just had to read like recalibrate all these. Like I probably scientifically had to recalibrate all these neurons.
Russell Rybicki:Yes, exactly to like react in a certain way, right like cringe at what had happened, right. So I, yeah, so the loving kindness one. Basically it's when you get into um, like a little bit of a flow while meditating, you basically imagine yourself on the other side of whatever you're working through or whatever, and then I would imagine that part that me hugging me, being like it's okay, you've got this, um just like saying really encouraging things, like you're going to get through this, and that was that was really powerful. Just to like really see that that optimistic part of me manifested as like someone comforting me right now yeah, a real person yeah, it was.
Russell Rybicki:It kind of felt like a real person which, yeah, was really powerful.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah.
Russell Rybicki:And then October 2020 is when we started Monarch Chamber Players, and so now, looking back, it's almost like another perfect storm, but in the opposite direction, where, like, all of these little things fell into place that, like I, I had these identity crises and and I really thought about quitting, for, like, on and off for several years, that I was like am I ever actually going to be able to do what I did?
Russell Rybicki:But then, through a lot of my meditation and spirituality practices, I kind of accepted acceptance was a huge part of it that no, I'm not going to be able to do what I did. I'm going to be able to do it better and and I'm going to be able to do it in a way that I'm going to have grown in a completely different way than I would have if this didn't happen. And it was like a weird acceptance where I was like I don't want it to be how it was, because there were a lot of things that, like I was able to do better than everybody else, but there were like some very basic things that I couldn't really do.
Russell Rybicki:But now it's like it's the opposite where I have to work a little harder, the things that I used to be really good at, but I can do everything else. Like I feel really solid and really confident. I say all those words now and that's mental, it's not like a physical thing. That happened Um right, which was really important to discover.
Alex Hoffman:Yeah.
Russell Rybicki:And then, yeah, so when Monarch happened, you know, I was getting a little bit more gigs. We were doing a lot of outdoor concerts, I was getting to arrange, I was getting to like really express like my artistic things, Like even if I couldn't play as well, I was able to like arrange stuff and like we could express myself in other ways. It was like right around that time, yeah, that I got into a relationship and I was like getting in a flow. In Austin I eventually got a job in a restaurant and so I was like traveling, doing gigs and all this.
Russell Rybicki:And then May, like almost two years ago now, like we broke up and it was a pretty like shock breakup for me. It was a shock, in a way, that I actually felt relief in a strange sense, like never will have anything bad to say about him, but like I had felt relief for some reason, and I think I think there were parts of that that I was being held back from actually growing because I was really trying to get on the other side of the past six or so years. So timing was just not great with all of that. And so, using still these meditation practices, any feeling that came up, however intense it was, I would pause and give myself the space to feel it and then it would pass and I had never really felt. I had never really felt that intensive an emotion and allow it to like just kind of pass, like I wasn't getting caught in the middle of the stream or in the middle of the river. I was like on the side watching it go by.
Alex Hoffman:That's amazing.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah, and the one that I use the most is like I'm laying in a field of grass watching the clouds go by, and sometimes it's like a clear as blue day, or sometimes it's like a storm. But I'm still just like sitting there observing it.
Russell Rybicki:When I was able to really process all of that that was going on, um, I had this like weird sense of confidence that I was like I, yeah, I just felt like more confident in myself, that I was like, oh, I have the tools to do this. I feel so empowered I think that's what a lot of it was that I like I have really grown through this and it's been like a really, really incredible journey and I'm so thankful for all of the shit or sorry, all of the bad stuff that at this point, I'm very thankful for it, even though in the moment I wasn't um or I just wanted it to end. But I'm very thankful in the tools that I didn't realize that I had. That helped me to process it, go through it, grow from it and now like thrive from it, yeah, and realizing that I was like more people should know about this. Like it's really not that hard.
Russell Rybicki:It started as 10 minutes a day yeah, 10 minutes a day and then I just got more and more curious, and I think that's what a lot of meditation does. It allows you to sit back, observe, be aware of what's going on in you, um, and then you get curious about it and I'm like what's coming up right now? Um, yeah, so that's kind of where the whole coaching thing came in, um, where I just was like, why do not more people know about this? It's really simple, it's really powerful. I think everyone has these tools available to them if they just allow themselves to like, drop their ego and access it.
Alex Hoffman:Yeah, easier, easier said than done, but it's, you know, and thank you for sharing all of that. I mean it sounds like you've been through an experience just so much and it's it's amazing that you're sort of that. I mean, it sounds like you've been through an experience just so much and it's amazing that you're sort of on the other side of it now and looking back with this sort of gratitude on everything you've been through and you have, it seems you have a lot of clarity on everything you've been through and I'm wondering if we could just go back to something you were talking about in the beginning for just a moment before we spend some time. Some of the stuff that you were going through, that's okay. You mentioned um, so now you're playing with san antonio phil and before you're playing with san antonio symphony, and you briefly mentioned the strike. Uh, can you tell for people maybe who don't know, can you talk a little bit about the strike and just your experience with with that?
Russell Rybicki:yeah, I was kind of like in the middle ground. So I was on a couple one years for that. So strike happened or COVID happened, and then the start in the fall of 2020, I was like offered another one year and then I was told by, like several people in the orchestra. They were like sign the contract now, because they were already planning to go on strike.
Russell Rybicki:Okay, several people in the orchestra that were like sign the contract now because they were already planning to go on strike. Okay, it was a whole thing where the, the management wanted to cut the orchestra to be contract. Um, so my salary as it was like still not that much, it was like you know, 32 or something.
Russell Rybicki:It would have been okay and no, oh gosh oh my gosh okay so it was a lot of like I was on fourth horn, fourth utility, so, like you know, principal and second of each wind, and then like principal strength, like that kind of thing, the contract, and then everyone else is just on the B contract with no benefits. Um, yeah, so we were fighting to get back to normal. Um, so it was that whole year until, I think April is when the symphony filed for bankruptcy, right, and so in January is when the musicians decided to start putting on their own concerts and raising their own money. So then that's what, that's what we did for that year. And then the following season was the San Antonio Phil that's great Cool, thank you.
Alex Hoffman:Thanks for elaborating on that a little bit. I want to talk a little bit. Um, I want to talk a little bit also about, uh. You mentioned having a playing injury. You mentioned working your way back from that, and you also mentioned that there there aren't a lot of supports in place for for musicians, and then that was something that you had to seek out on your own. What was that like for you? It?
Russell Rybicki:felt like I was, you know on that. Why do I keep thinking of Bird Box, that movie? You don't know what you're like. You don't know what you're looking for.
Alex Hoffman:Yeah.
Russell Rybicki:So I didn't really know who to reach out to. I like telling.
Russell Rybicki:At least talk to Gail Williams, who I studied with at Northwestern about it. I was just asking, like what can I do? Like what are things? And I I never really like. It's funny, the, the former third horn in Vancouver, suffered with dystonia, so like I would talk with him and it was kind of comforting to know that like that's not what I was dealing with. I think I could have gotten to that point if I like kept going on it. But, um, it was, yeah, I kind of had like friends and re, but I didn't like know of resources. There was like one other woman was in the New Jersey symphony who had a whole thing on overuse syndrome is what she calls it Um, so I sent her like a video and she said like yeah, that's what, that is Okay, and then reading her book was kind of the only resource that I had.
Alex Hoffman:But I think for me the biggest part of it was mental, like just the fact that I felt I lost like most of my identity and so having to find myself outside of music after going from high school straight to a conservatory, straight to grad school, straight to new world, like I had never had to question myself until I was in a job, so I think it's interesting that you didn't really question it until until then, and maybe it's a result partially of the pandemic, and maybe most of the young musicians now um have gone to school through the pandemic and had to question those things a bit sooner maybe than you or I did, um, because I was in civic during the pandemic and had to question those things a bit sooner maybe than you or I did because I was in civic during the pandemic.
Alex Hoffman:And it's just interesting that a lot of this was delayed till people had their first jobs or they were already into their jobs and they started asking themselves these really hard questions about identity. We talk about it a lot on this podcast. It's the theme of our event this year because, precisely because of this, because it's this really strange sort of phenomenon that I think musicians don't talk about a lot or talk about for example, you mentioned that for a while you were waiting tables and things like that maybe aren't talked about enough. The realities of you know what you needed to do to make ends meet at different times in your musical career and how.
Russell Rybicki:there's no shame in that as well yeah, I think that's a big part of it. It was weird to like have achieved my dream and then left it. And then see, see people younger than me like getting these big jobs and I'm working at a pizza restaurant. Yeah, really fun. Gen z kids, but yeah, and you?
Alex Hoffman:it's hard not to ask yourself those questions of like okay, am I missing something? Or at a pizza restaurant, yep, really fun Gen Z kids. But yeah, and it's hard not to ask yourself those questions of like okay, am I missing something? Or am I not doing enough? Or is this not meant for me? Am I not good enough? I think all these questions start to come up as a result of seeing all of these things happening around us. And I think to your point, with meditation sort of those kinds of thoughts, letting them wash over you or pass by or whatever it is, can be a really useful, really really useful tool. Yeah, so, yeah, great. Well, I want to get into talking about your journey as a coach. Tell us, you kind of started to talk about how you got into it, but how did you just start? What did? When did you decide? How did you get started?
Russell Rybicki:Um. So I did. So. My mom kind of planted the seed one time. I don't really remember what we were talking about, but she was just like you have a way of talking to people that like makes them feel heard. She said something like that have you ever thought of coaching? Cause? I was like I think it was results of the pandemic. You know, we all question like is this what we want to do? Um, and then I was like you know, tech bootcamp, people are doing that. That sounds like you can make money. And I was like that sounds awful. I, I really wanted something that I would actually feel fulfilled. I didn't care if I made you doing it. If I can make some money, great, Um. But like I, just I wanted something that like actually like I feel like I'm filling up my soul the way that music did. Yeah, um. So she planted the seed, um, and then I did the Sarasota opera gig, which is like two months.
Russell Rybicki:Um, and one of the other horn players, sandy Swanson she actually is a holistic life coach um did the exact same program as me and she and I was just picking her brain about it. Um, absolutely lovely woman. Um. And oh, she lives in the Chicago area too. Uh and uh. Yeah, she just told me about this program because part of the part of all the programs that I was looking at didn't include a spiritual aspect. Okay, that was really, really important to me to be able to include in how I would want to coach. It was all. It all seemed very like business, straightforward, kind of like the people on social media posting like the self-help, and I was like that's like what? At least how I was taught. That's not the definition of what a coach does.
Alex Hoffman:There's like a hustle culture behind a lot of it.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah, and I was like that's not really me, like I hustle, but I'm not in the like. It feels very forced. So I wanted to. I just wanted it to be natural for me. So it was important that I found that program and that that was. That was a whole journey in itself, because learning to be a coach it was all about listening and and being really, really present with the client and being curious, which is how I kind of learned to be with myself, just be really curious about what was coming up and going a little bit further and just poking and prodding at it.
Russell Rybicki:So like when I'm with a client they'll a lot of the time I just catch on to like a certain word that they're saying over and over again. They might just say like growth, and to me growth means something, but to you it might mean something different. So I just asked like well, what does growth mean to you? What's important about? And then that kind of hopefully would get you to talk about the different things that you want to experience in your. So it's not like me saying so this is how you grow, you just have to do X, y and Z, right, right, it's like you finding your own process, which I think for me and I think most musicians, it's a good teacher will teach you how to teach yourself. So that's a lot of what I feel coaching can do is when people really are able to drop their ego, they can allow themselves to like, follow their own process and confront their own demons. I guess.
Alex Hoffman:Yeah, and something I've been really curious about, as I'm about to pursue a counseling degree myself, is just how much coaching and counseling really overlap and there's a lot of stigma in both communities about the other community and I think there's like this weird like sort of divide in counseling and coaching communities. But I've been a personal. I've personally benefited from both in different ways so much and I've asked a lot of coaches and therapists how they see the value in the other one and why having both might be valuable accounts, having a therapist and a coach. I mean I've talked with Elizabeth Rowe a lot about this, how she has both and how she treats both of those things very differently. But what you do is also adding that holistic part to it, and you talked about the spiritual aspect. What else does a holistic life coach do that maybe just a regular coach might not?
Russell Rybicki:So the term holistic means mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, so the whole human experience. It's interesting that you say counseling, because I actually had, we had several counselors in my coaching program to kind of be able to use both skill sets, which I thought was really cool and it was fun to talk to them. But with the holistic part of it we had, like I like to use the. We have this wheel sometimes that, like you, kind of divide it into quadrants and sometimes one quadrant. You know you ideally you want to have like a balance with all 25%. But sometimes people are way more balanced, Like when they're going through a stressful time, like they just exercise more, or yeah, or like, like me, I'll meditate a little bit more or emotional, they just like cry it out a lot.
Russell Rybicki:So it's like finding finding a nice balance between all of them. And it's like something that I find that is is that it's always fluid and you're never going to have that perfect 25, or what perfect is very loosely used here. You're never going to have that 25% on all of them. It's always going to be fluctuating and you're always going to be trying to balance. But I think that is the growth in itself, is accepting that you just have to balance. It's not like you're stiff holding a weight or something to balance. It's not like you're stiff holding a week or something it's actually. Or like when you're like holding your flute. You're not really stiff, you just want to like use as little tension as possible to keep everything balanced and in flow. So I always find like these weird parallels.
Alex Hoffman:I like that.
Russell Rybicki:Being a musician and a coach.
Alex Hoffman:Oh, there's so many. I mean how, how has coaching helped you sort of find your path and find your way in the world?
Russell Rybicki:So, after the breakup and kind of rediscovering myself, I started. So I breakup was in May, I started the program like mid-July and within the first like month I was in like such a weird, weird place, like holistically I could not like. I had so many voices in my head. I didn't know which one to either like listen to or to say like that's not me. I couldn't figure it out. Um, it completely broke down how I communicated with myself, which was really really interesting because I was always asking why.
Russell Rybicki:Questions like why do why do I feel this way? Why did I react this way? Um, instead of saying what and how, questions like what do I want from this? How can I respond better? Um, so it was more yeah, I just used the two words.
Russell Rybicki:Actually it was more of a responding rather than reacting. So for me, reacting is like it can be very visceral, like when someone says something shocking to you or says something kind of off-putting you're, you have like a visceral reaction in your body that like makes you want to react right away. Um, so it was a lot of like I have something coming up in me. What is it? Get curious about it. I can pause, I can take a second. If someone says something to me good, I can pause, I can take a second. If someone says something to me good or bad, I I can take it in, I'm allowed to pause and process it so I can respond like respectfully, compassionately. So that was a big part of like my own self-acceptance.
Russell Rybicki:One of one of the things I like to coach on is, like radical self-acceptance is especially, as you know, a gay person, that a lot of that doesn't exist. It's right Cause we didn't feel accepted growing up, so like how do we do that for ourselves now? So the the self-acceptance was a huge part of the responding versus reacting where, like you know, even dating or something like I would like someone would say something a little off putting and instead of being like, well, you're like this and this, that's like. It's like usually how people, if people say something negative to you, it's a reflection of how they feel about themselves or it's a reflection of a judgment for themselves, realizing that and then I can respond in a way that's like, well, how would I say this if I said this to myself?
Russell Rybicki:And so it was like radical self-acceptance means like self-compassion and treating yourself with that sort of respect. Really I like that's just positive reinforcement, allowing you to grow, and it's the same. You know, same way you would want to raise a child or something like. Like that's what you're doing. You know your older self is comforting yourself now, being like, yeah, this is, this is how, like, I do this now.
Alex Hoffman:Yeah, we talk about this a lot in our workshops too. This idea, like we talk about our inner self, talk especially while we're practicing, and like a bazillion thoughts can come up in your head while you're practicing, and we ask people to sort of stop and think about it. Just stop and examine, you know, and, like you said to your point, get curious about the thoughts that come up while we practice. Where have we heard this before? Why do we say this to ourselves? Can we speak to ourselves in a different way, doing things like practicing even fundamentals, and how do we do that? How do we better hold space for ourselves? So that's really great that you've sort of been able to take that and apply it to your own life. I'm wondering what are what are some of the things speaking of like teaching radical self-acceptance, and what are some of the things speaking of like teaching radical self-acceptance, and what are some of the other things that you've helped clients with and are? Are most of your clients musicians or do you work with all sorts of people?
Russell Rybicki:My coaching business is still, you know, like a baby.
Alex Hoffman:Okay, cool.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah, I still coach my partner from that class and I've had a couple like clients that were like friends of friends, just you know, have called a container of sessions. So I've done a few of those but I'm still, you know, kind of growing it in a way that feels authentic to me. It's a little bit slow, but ideally sorry. You asked what are the people that I want to work with, or what I want to work with them on?
Alex Hoffman:who um. What sorts of things have you worked on with clients?
Russell Rybicki:sorts of things that can. It can really range. I mean, the client comes with what they want to work on. Yeah, um, but I try to try to have like an overall goal for the whole thing. So a lot of them, um, are just like either building awareness, they want to just like feel more within themselves. A lot of them are just like either building awareness, they want to just like feel more within themselves. A lot of it has to do with internal work. It's rarely like I just want to be more organized. Granted, that can be like a goal of a, of a session or something, but I think a lot of them come with that. It still stems from something within them. It still stems from something within them.
Russell Rybicki:I find, when I get to work with creatives or musicians, it's it's more of a question of like how can you bring your passion for what you do? That isn't like what we were so strictly taught Discovering. It's the, it's the, discovering who you are outside of it and bringing that back into that creative outlet or that creative world. So, yeah, for me it was the like I had this whole identity crisis. So when we started Monarch Chamber, players like I was finding other creative outlets to get that sort of expression out. Yeah, when I couldn't do it on horn, now being able to grow that and I grew that way and it has, you know, developed me into a different person than I would have been yeah, so, and then it would.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah, I think students would be a very, very fun like group to work with Cause back when we were an undergrad or something. I really wish there was someone that would have said, like, why are you passionate about this? Or like, what makes? Like what makes this important to you? Um, rather than everybody telling us like you got to do your homework and you got to practice and you got to go win a job, like yeah, I I'll never forget.
Alex Hoffman:Um, it was like first day of freshman year of college. Uh, they sat all of the wind players down and there were two of the wind faculty, who shall remain nameless, sat us all down and they it was like orientation week and they basically said, like listen to everything your teacher says and practice, and that's all you have to do. And I I that stuck in my mind so much because, well, one it made me sort of fearful. I think that was sort of the goal was to instill a little bit of fear in us to like listen to our teachers, keep our heads down, don't make a fuss, don't do anything. And I think that really affected me and I, I did, you know, to some degree that did help, you know, listening to what my teacher said and practicing really hard, but it only got me so far, and there were so many other things that ended up being more important.
Alex Hoffman:I learned I had to learn how to set boundaries for myself. I had to learn, you know, about how to process these big feelings that I had. And, like you just said, I wish that they had asked more questions of why, why do you want to do with this? Why, sorry. Why do you want to do this and what do you want to do with it? More of the purposeful questions behind it. So, yeah, I wish that we had more sort of coaching practices in place before you know, when we were going in school as well.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah, yeah. That's why I think, like what you're doing with sound mind musician like makes so much sense. Cause it's like that, is that like even just the fact that a student at a music school might just know that you exist and know that like it's like mental health and classical music. I think that's like if anything ever happens like that's something that happened to me or something like that and they don't know where to go, like you know your presence is there, like or someone knows that it's there, and it can be like have you reached out to this group and then, like it can just stem from there. So I think, just like knowing that people like us exist can be really beneficial.
Russell Rybicki:Whether or not we get like used or or, you know, enlisted for advice or something or help, yeah is another thing, but I've I had known that like sound my musician was a thing when I was dealing with the injury, I absolutely would have like reached out just to get something. Cause, yeah, like I said before, I had my mom was like you should talk to a counselor. So when I was talking to one, it was just like this is what I do. It like took so long just to get the background. It's like I don't work in like a black and white field. It's very like I'm dealing with this. I'm telling people at work about my injury and I feel like I'm screaming into a void and I'm not getting really anything back, like I don't know what to do.
Alex Hoffman:So, yeah, just having the resource to your like what you just said, like it sometimes can be very isolating doing this kind of work that we do Um, at least in my experience I won't speak for both of us, but, like, just because so few people exist that are doing this work and making noise about it and really talking about it, it can feel sometimes like you are screaming into a void about these issues, because it's really it's really hard to make change, like big change, at any level, but especially, I think, in classical music, where traditions are really, really entrenched and, um, even a little bit of progress is still progress and I have to remind myself that every single day.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean by it's a little bit lonely, cause I don't necessarily come out right away and being like, oh, I'm also a life coach, right, because it's more of one of those things like when someone just says like oh, I have like this, this person's going through this and like they've been talking to me about it, sometimes I'll be like, well, you know, like if you want to refer them to me, like I also do this, it's kind of been like a on the side sort of thing. Right, I was a little nervous about doing this today because this is the first time.
Alex Hoffman:No, I'm so happy Putting it out, really, yeah, but it's well, you should be so proud of yourself and I'm so proud and I'm so happy for you. I mean, it is hard to like put yourself out there in this way and it's it speaks a lot to how much you care about the work and people and and what you're doing. And we're just, we're really grateful that you shared your journey with us because it's people will hear your story and feel really empowered by it. I hope.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah or yeah.
Alex Hoffman:I want to end on one quick last question I didn't give this to you beforehand, so I'm kind of putting you on the spot which is what advice would you give to folks who are looking into other forms of work, or maybe even people considering coaching?
Russell Rybicki:I think, finding something that you think will actually bring you more fulfillment. I had this conversation actually pretty frequently recently, I think just with the state of the world and all the AI stuff. It's like. I think just with the state of the world and all the AI stuff. It's like I would much rather we just be like a human race of creative people, like AI can do all the mundane things, but like if we can have a world of like creativity and art um, that might be very hippie of me, but I'm a wannabe hippie in a lot of ways.
Russell Rybicki:Like that when, like I just I want people, people to create, I want people to share um, like it's way more fun when people are like feeling free to give um and feel feeling free to express exactly who they are as they are. Um, like that's a journey in itself to figure out how to do that, but like when I get in those situations where I feel completely free to be exactly who I am, like I it's, it's like um, it's like something always clicks or like that's, like that's, that's me, like, uh, I mean, but maybe I don't know, maybe you can cut this, but I go to Burning man and my name out, there is Oatmeal, that's like my playa name and so now, like Oatmeal is that person that like is able to express. Like I can go up to like random people out there and have like a full, deep conversation and it's like so emotionally fulfilling and then never see them again. But like, I like to try to like I call it like bringing Oatmeal into like my daily life. I try to do that. I love that.
Alex Hoffman:That's amazing.
Russell Rybicki:It's been a very freeing experience to know that I have access to that like on the, on a daily basis and I don't have to feel ashamed and if someone doesn't resonate with it, it's like there's no negativity there. It's like that person just doesn't like oatmeal.
Alex Hoffman:Yeah, oh, my God.
Russell Rybicki:Not a lot of people like oatmeal. You know it can be sweet and savory. It's very. It's a very versatile ingredient, um yeah. Yeah, so it's that's kind of that's what I would want. What was your question?
Alex Hoffman:No, it's okay, it was I. You totally answered it perfectly, which was what advice would you give to people looking into other sort of career paths for looking into coaching? And I think you nailed it, which is just, you know, do what, follow what, what feels good and follow like what you really want and be who you really want to be. I think that's that's really beautifully said and I I love, I love that you have this sort of other self that you can sort of look to and reference and feel free with. I think that's beautiful.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah, yeah, it's definitely like a drop. I like to. Dropping the ego was a huge part of the coaching process for me, and once you can drop your ego, that's like where you are able to like crack that shell and just be exactly as you are, with no fear of judgment. So that's why I want to go into something else. Like, don't have fear. What other people are going to think of you? Yes, the like in this economy, oof, but, um, like, do what makes like I, like I have never been more poor but I've never been happier. I would much rather be able to get by and be really happy rather than like in Vancouver, where I was fine financially but I was not okay.
Alex Hoffman:Yeah.
Russell Rybicki:I would much rather this situation where, yeah, limbo, um, but, like you know, I'm always optimistic and I happy.
Alex Hoffman:So yeah, amazing. Well, russell, thank you so much for sharing and for joining us. It's. It's so great to hear, hear from you and hear about everything and everybody. Check out, check out Russell's stuff. He's amazing, and just thank you again.
Russell Rybicki:Yeah, Thanks so much for having me. It's just like I'm glad you read, like I reached out to you a little while ago and then exciting to hear that Like there might be some sort of place for me with sound mind at some point in the future. So I would love to be a resource of any kind of people want to reach out or anything like that.
Alex Hoffman:Awesome. Thank you so much.
Russell Rybicki:Sure.